ETHICS

Tough decisions are all around us and we face them every single day of our lives. Whether it's to decide on what to eat or what college we want to go to. Personally, I am terrible at tough decisions and they stress me out so much (yes even when I'm deciding on what to eat.)

One of my good friends was dating a guy that went to our high school. They had been dating for a few months when she told me she didn't have feelings for him anymore. But she didn't want to break up with him and make him feel sad and heartbroken. I told her that she should talk to him and maybe they could work things out. She told me she talked to him, but a few weeks later, I saw her hanging out with another guy more than she was hanging out with her boyfriend. I confronted her about it and she said "Oh we're just friends." So I let it slide and didn't think too much about it until it started to get worse each day. She would hang out with him in between classes, then she would start to hang out with him outside of school. I was friends with the guy she was dating at the time and thought that I should tell him, but if I told him then I would lose a really good friendship that has lasted for years. One day we were all walking to class together, my friend, the guy she wasn't dating, and me. My friend and I had to go a different direction than the guy, so we said our goodbyes and then she kisses him right in front of me. So I said to her "You have a boyfriend, you shouldn't have done that." And all she said back was, "As long as he doesn't know, it will be okay." After she said that, it made me really upset because I know if the roles were reversed and her boyfriend was cheating on her, she would be very upset if someone knew and didn't tell her. So I didn't mention it for the rest of the day, but it was driving me crazy inside my mind and it was all I could think about. After I got home that day and settled down for a bit, I decided to text her boyfriend about it. I casually started a conversation and asked him how things were going between him and her. He said things were good but he felt like she was being very distant. So then I told him that she had been hanging out with this other guy. He had no idea what she was doing behind his back and confronted her the next day at school. She was very embarrassed and didn't even know what to say to him. Later that day in class, she turned to me and said "Did you tell him?" I replied "Yes I did, because he should know about it instead of you hurting him." They ended up breaking up and I ended up losing a really good friend.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/171136854562996504/

During this situation, I used the rights approach. I did what was morally right, even though my friend didn't think so. I did follow steps of the ethical decision making process, I recognized the ethical issue, which was my friend cheating on her boyfriend. I got the facts and thought about what would be best. I thought of alternative actions and what would happen if I did one thing over another. Then I made my decision and tested it, even though it resulted in me losing my friendship. I believe that I was operating in stage three of Kholberg's stages of moral development, good interpersonal relationships (Behrens, Rose 285). My friend should have done what was "good." She should have had "good" intentions. That was my way of thinking, so that's how I acted. I think religion had a little influence on my decision because I am religious and in Christianity, cheating is considered a sin. Also, cultural norms had an influence on my decision because it isn't right to cheat on your significant other, whether you're married or not, and everyone will tell you that.